What the heck happened?

Yesterday was great. I got a lot done, I was motivated, I felt good. Today, I crashed. I hate that! I’m not sick, I’m just wiped out and there is no good reason for me to be wiped out. I haven’t been stressed, I haven’t been working my fingers to the bone, I haven’t been overdoing it. ::sigh::

I wish I were back at the beach right now.

Drawing pictures in the sand and reading my kindle until the sun goes down. Of course, that beach is probably not lounging temperature right now but still. I would find a way.

So, my goal is to make my house feel like vacation, since I am here almost 24 hours a day. That is kind of hard to do, especially today with the office assistant and cleaning crew here. But, they will eventually leave. Step one is keeping the kids away from the tv after school.

What a Ride…

…and it’s all been pretty much in my head. Things slowly change around here but the whirlwind up in the noggin’ keeps spinning at lightning speed. I have been making work but it was for show inventory, which was kinda dismal. I mean, I made profit but not like previous years. I guess it’s a good thing that the wheels have been turning and new ideas are flooding in (besides the micro mosaics).

Would you believe that just this past week I even considered going back to graduate school for an MFA? I love degrees and school. But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that all those things that they can teach you there, I can do on my own. I mean, that would be a streamlined way of learning some technique but it would also be a lot of time learning things that I’ve already been through like about 9 credit hours of art history.

Also, it is $25,000 a year. Not really in the budget but doable if I really put my mind to it. For $25,000 I could take a lot of classes and workshops in areas that I specifically know I want, and travel to visit friends! So, MFA is off the table right now.

I’m also considering a career change. I’ve said it in private to a handful of people and dared not to say it out loud in front of other beadmakers but I think the glass bead is passé. The window has closed to make a living selling just glass beads. That is just the trend that I have experienced. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t people out there doing it and doing it well but it is getting increasingly harder to do so.

So, this career change. What I really mean to say is a sabbatical from career. I’m not sure yet. But as I consider my goals for the new year I am evaluating what makes me truly happy, what I want more of in my life and what will enrich not only my life but those around me. Not imposing pressure on myself is seeming to be top on the list and the major place I self-impose it is when it comes to business. And the crazy thing is…I don’t have to! There is not one thing in my life that says I have to put that pressure on myself.

Even when I haven’t really been trying to sell, I have had the pressure on myself and feeling like I “should” be doing something more. I have found other ways to take on pressure. ::sigh::

So, I’m working on that.

Last year my word for the year was Congruence and I am pretty happy with what I’ve done with myself. I’ve had more fun too. This year I’m leaning more towards two words. Peace and Calm. Since I’ve started this healthy eating stuff and done a 21 day detox as well as other good things for my mind, body and soul I have experienced euphoria and I want it always.

I have lots more to say on this and I will be back atcha soon. I’m not quitting bead making but I am transitioning it to not be just about beads and jewelry but more about art. See? I didn’t need no stinking MFA classes to learn and inspire me!

First Day of Facebook Break

30daychallenger.com Facebook diet

I feel anxious.

Today I announced on my highly trafficked Facebook wall that I will be taking a break. More on that later because it is already raising lots of things for me to fill these pages with.

In keeping with my morning routine (sans Facebook now) I sit down with my coffee and wake up to all things internet. Just saying that makes me cringe a little. Polluting my brain first thing in the morning does not sound like the ideal way to start the day. Sitting outside with a nice bowl of oatmeal (if I actually liked oatmeal) listening to the birds sounds a bit more healthy.

But anyway, I digress…

As I popped around my google reader checking up on my favorite blogs I came to a Rolling Stone update telling me that Brittney Spears is on the verge of signing a $16 million deal to be a judge on the X Factor. Now, why would my first reaction be…”Ooooooo! I need to share this with my Facebook friends”? (and see, I still told you…but not for you or me…to help raise my search engine ranking by linking to Brittney Spears.)

Am I really admitting all of this?

Why has this become normal? Why have these become the things we/I want to talk to our/my friends about, or to let them know? What the h@ll is wrong with me?

But anyway…I am not doing this because I have an addiction, although I do spend too much time on this type of junk. I am doing this because of another theory. When John Mayer quit Twitter (which, a little to my credit, I don’t follow) something he said in Rolling Stone (my other addiction interest) that stuck with me. Tweeting so much started to make his brain smaller and smaller and he couldn’t write a song.

I can relate to that. You put all the ‘good stuff’ out there in one sentence thought forms and that is the way you start to think. Why blog when you just summed everything up and shot it out on Facebook? Why explore anything deeper when you just purged it in ten words or less and continued with a larger dialog in comment boxes.

You may not get that drift right now but it has been becoming clear to me for a while. I will keep you posted and please do comment (on the blog comments, not Facebook because I won’t see them there)…I would like to see if you notice any of this in yourself and your experience with how you deal, or don’t deal with it.