I’m on a roll…and that’s rare, so I’m running with it. It feels counter-intuitive to sit at the torch cranking away killer beads when I have bills to pay and sales tax to file and books to write and web sites to update, and, and, and…
But it must be. I am the mode where I’m being compelled (can you be compelled? Or is one just compelled?) Whatever it is, I love that feeling because it doesn’t come often and when it does, it needs to be grabbed! So, for the last week I’ve been grabbing. And creating. And growing.
Isn’t it interesting that it comes right after a short vacation? If you’ve been reading Margot Potter’s blog you know that she’s been trying to unplug, as well as JC. So I’ve been thinking about my two friends and understanding where they’re coming from. I’ve heard people talk about needing to find balance. Needing to get back to basics. Whatever you want to call it, we drive ourselves hard and I wouldn’t have it any other way, for myself.
I think the three of us may have been doing this self-employed-driven kind of work for about the same length of time and I’m forming a theory. I think 3-4 years is about as long as you can go at that pace before you start to really feel it. I mean, REALLY feel it. Yet we continue. We have gotten this far and we’re on the edge of the ‘next thing’ (at least I feel that way and suspect it always feels that way). It would be interesting to hear what others think. Chime in.
I will speak for myself here. It’s like gambling. Or should I say, gambling if you have a problem with gambling. That next pull of the arm is going to be IT. THEN you’ll be happy. Just five more dollars. Ten more minutes. THEN you’ll be able to stop. But it’s not that way.
Sometimes I think about my motivations when I’m so driven. I have come to find out that I am driven by accomplishment. I am driven by the thirst for more knowledge, better skills. I love a brain full of information.
All of that to say, I love being driven. I love accomplishing things. I love doing what I do. But I’m better at it when I can step away for a little while. It is this mark, the 4.5 year mark, where I realize that a new phase is coming. I can keep going like I’m going and feel like I’m spinning my wheels or I can do it differently. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’ve been doing it differently.
While stepping back every once is a while is part of it, as is exercising, taking my B12s, eating right, the most important thing is to prepare better. Plan ahead. Have a plan. As a good friend of mine used to tell his restaurant employees:
Proper Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance.
Thanks Tom. Words of wisdom.