I know that title is grammatically incorrect. I’m from Indiana and I like to talk that way.

Last week was fall break for the kids and a nice vacation by the beach. Lots of time to lose myself in books. While I don’t necessarily think of pleasure reading as something that will impact my life other than as good entertainment, I was pleasantly surprised to find myself moved by a phrase while reading Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots by Deborah Feldman.

At one point during her story she pulled out this from the Talmud:

“If not me, then who? If not now, then when?”

While I have heard similar…no one’s gonna do it for you, only you make it happen, there’s no time like the present, etc., this one hit hit me like a ton of bricks. I love that kind of timing. When you’re ready for it, the teacher will appear? I dig cliches, if you haven’t noticed.

Upon reading that line, a door to my psyche opened and allowed me to see where I have been shirking responsibilities to myself. I mean, I KNOW my shortcomings (at least, a lot of them) but illuminated like this, it made it seem impossible to run from or rationalize them anymore.

It’s nothing big and juicy hidden down in there…more like, get your a$$ off the computer and make something worthwhile happen. Go to bed much earlier at night so you aren’t tired and achy all the time. Stop it already wtih the procrastinating! Just do it, and do it ahead of time.

How many YEARS have I been saying I want to sell to local shops and galleries? How long have I been saying that I want to get back into the swing of things? I always have a good reason for myself. “The work is not where I want it to be. I’m not ready.” “I need to look into how to approach galleries.” “My body of work is not complete enough.” Blah blah blah. I have lots of them I use to talk myself down.

Ain’t no one gonna do it for you and if you keep waiting until, whatever/whenever, it will never happen. I got it.

p.s.  the book was just ok.